What I Got Wrong When a Crisis Hit
By Hetal Joshi Gordon | Dream Big, Think Big
What's the best way to lead through a crisis? Honestly, you might have to fail to find out.
I'm a big believer in trusting your gut. But in a crisis, your gut isn't enough. It's too dangerous to rely on alone.
So you try. And there's a good chance you fail.
One of the worst crises I ever led through was the first brand safety incident on YouTube. Even now, it's painful to look back on. Not just because of what happened — because of how I handled it. I failed. And I nearly quit my job over it.
Back in March 2017, I landed in London for a week of meetings across Europe. Monday morning, I had no idea my career at Google had just turned onto a very different road. I wasn't ready. Neither was the company, if I'm honest. By the end of that week, I was in Paris, and the headlines were everywhere — hundreds of advertisers named, their ads showing up next to content that should have never been anywhere near them.
I was leading the global partnerships with The Coca-Cola Company and McDonald's. I had an incredible team. I was proud to be at Google. I was proud to be a trusted partner to my clients. I was honored to lead people I respected. In a matter of days, all of it was on the line.
I built my reputation on being trusted — how could I stand by this?
I built my brand as a trusted advisor — how could they still trust me?
I was responsible for my team — how did I protect them?
It was chaos. Twenty-four hours in, we had no guidance yet on how to respond. It was brutal, and I was cracking under the pressure. I toed the company line, and I believe that's where the real damage was done. I could no longer say I was the trusted partner I'd always been.
About a month later, I was completely depleted. I seriously considered leaving the company. I didn't know how to manage what had happened, or myself in the middle of it.
That October, I went through a program at Google called Leading in Complexity, run by Cultivating Leadership. It changed how I navigate a crisis. I spent a week with senior leaders in a room that was a safe space. I learned how to sit with uncertainty instead of trying to drive through it. I learned to meditate. I learned that stepping away from my day-to-day life, even briefly, was critical to gain perspective. And somewhere in that week, it landed: brand safety was never mine to control. I'd just been treating it like it was.
A few weeks later, before Thanksgiving, the next brand safety crisis hit. It was brutal. But this time, what I'd learned in October kicked in, and I was ready. I stopped trying to control the outcome. I woke up, provided what was in my control for my team and my clients, went to bed, and did it again until that storm passed.
That didn't mean I was okay with what was happening. It meant I finally knew how to manage myself, my energy, my attention — well enough to actually show up for my clients, my team, and myself.
So if you're leading through your own storm right now, here's what I know: you might have to fail before you learn how to come through it. And if you can, find someone to help you build the tools before you need them — not just after.
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